This month, we managed to pull off a family vacation. It was not the vacation that we had originally imagined for this summer. It was, in many ways, a perfect vacation for us nonetheless. It got us thinking about what vacation really does for us - why we seek it out, what we hope to get in return for the coordination and planning of herding our crew somewhere for more than a few hours. This summer, in particular, we realized that a vacation gave us something to look forward to. During these uncertain times of the pandemic, with no clear end in sight, we needed that forward thinking above all else.

What does vacation typically mean for you? For me, it requires a series of decisions and compromises to create the space for us all to collectively gather. This summer, it meant planning how we would all agree to quarantine for the weeks before we met up with my husband’s aunt & uncle and their family plus a grown nephew. We planned meals, determined who would fit int o which room, and looked forward to the gathering of us all within 4 different walls from the ones we had been staring at for the previous 5 months. Mike husband and I talked about what each of us hoped to get out of the vacation - family time, extended family fun, beach walks, and hopefully a little downtime from the current normal.

We were fortunate and thankful for the break. We were all bringing coolers of food to diminish the number of times we would need to visit a grocery store. There would be no restaurant outings this season. We had packed for a truly all-inclusive beach house rental experience.

The first thing we did after unloading the coolers was dip our toes in the ocean and talk about what we were looking forward to for the week. Long beach walks were at the top of the list. 16 hours later, we were in the ER fitting my husband with a splint for his leg. My immediate thought” We’re gonna need a vacation from the vacation.”

If ever there was a case for resilience, this was it. I’ll be the first to admit that after we returned from the ER, I was not mentally prepared for this kind of pivot in expectations, and I wasn’t the one with the broken leg. This year already felt a bit broken. This vacation was designed to heal some of that disjointed, overwrought solitude of the spring. It wasn’t designed to feel hard, but a broken leg certainly created a challenge. I could have handled it better as my role shifted from “cruise director” to “nursemaid”. I’m forever thankful that his aunt was more than happy to help serve in that capacity as well.

In the end, Mr. Bigstuff got creative and hobbled to the ocean on his crutches, his splint enclosed in a garbage bag. The boys carried him into the water. He enjoyed the sounds of the ocean from our beach tent. He even played Frisbee for a hot second (Kids: do not try this at home). The point is, he made the best of a bad situation. He is forever the example of resilience for our family. His response to adversity is always improvisation.

As we complete our week or reentry, and he is slowly beginning to pay heed to his leg’s need for self-care, the unpacking is slow and the sleep is solid. We just might want a “redo” of our #covidcation2020…in 2021.

While this year may feel somewhat broken for much of the world, I am looking forward to school starting up again and seasons changing. I learned that I need things to look forward to during these uncertain times. Right now, we are looking forward to the moment when Mr. Bigstuff can go hiking again. I think he might settle for walking to the mailbox first. Baby steps. We will keep our focus on the small triumphs that will lead to bigger wins. He will likely get frustrated by the time that it takes to get there.

While this was not the vacation I had in mind, if I am honest, the story in my head is never as imperfect as the one that unfolds. Imperfection is where the memories are made. And if I truly believe that, then 2020 is going to be filled with them.