Re-Run Resolutions
There's something wistful and exciting about starting a new year. Many of us have rituals that we practice as we close out the annual calendar. I have friends, colleagues, and clients who are all welcoming the new year with practices of setting new resolutions, opening new planners, decluttering spaces to breathe new life into their spaces, and planning for future ambitions. 2020 has been a particularly challenging year for so many - pandemic life ushered in a new set of circumstances for us all - shuffling in-person activities and responsibilities into virtual settings, navigating connections in novel formats to combat isolation, increased stress related to job and home security, resetting expectations, and combatting the ever-present uncertainty of what life will look like in the coming days, months or even year. For others, it has been an opportunity to pare down, focus on what is truly important, slow the pace, lower expectations, find new creative juices, learn something new, turn attention to self-care, and reprioritize. For most in my world, I have witnessed a waffling between these two. One day at a time holds much relevance in 2020, and many of us will likely be happy to leave 2020 in the past.
This week I was speaking with a client about 2021 resolutions, discussing what a resolution means to us and why some "resolutions" take and others do not. I personally prefer to focus on goals vs resolutions. I'm a firm believer that words matter. Resolutions feel judgmental to me - like we need to fix something that is broken or incomplete. Where's the joy in that? For some of these goals, it is the underlying purpose, not the size that matters. Take a common goal for many around this time: I want to lose weight. That's pretty ambiguous, leaving more questions than answers - How many pounds/kilos/stones? What is your deadline? Why is this important to you? How will you accomplish this? Without a clear measurement of success and a plan of action, it may be that rerun resolution that leaves you less enthusiastic about the coming months. "Every year I say the same thing. Every year I fail." The negative self-talk around ambiguous goals is not surprising. Perhaps the resolution or goal needs to be smaller, targeted, specific.
This year, I challenge each of us to get SMARTer about our goals for the coming year. You've heard me talk about SMART goals before. Let's get SMARTer about our intentions in 2021. I'll go first. One of my 2021 goals is to work out 4 days each week for a total of 150 minutes of movement each week. 2 of these days will be interval training, and the rest will be up to me, the weather, and time. I am also working with a client on a push-up challenge, which helps me kickstart my own exercise intention. I will be blocking off time in my calendar 4 days a week and tracking my activity through a fitness app that also reminds me to work out each week, and I have a lovely accountability group that keeps me on track (or simply provides a good nudge when I see others posting). I want to build in a 5th day by April - with no other goal but getting out from behind my desk. See how I did that? My goal is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. I know exactly what I am expecting to get accomplished, how and when I will make it happen, realistically based on my time and opportunity, and time-bound. And when I want to slack off, I will come back to my "why" to avoid the re-run resolution. I do this for my personal health. I want to be able to hike and dance and to fit into my clothes. Losing weight would be a plus, but what I truly want is for my clothes to fit better, my arms to be toned again, and my lungs to have a greater aerobic capacity. These are all physical, trackable, visible changes that I can measure.
Maybe your goal is to spend less or read more.
Maybe you want to learn a new skill or pick up a hobby.
Maybe you want to simply yell less and smile more.
Whatever you are looking to better or change in 2021, I encourage you to dig a little deeper into the value of this change for you. What are you really after? What is your why? This will help you laser focus on a specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound goal for the New Year. Figure out when you want to achieve this goal, where you will take action, how you will measure success and what the obstacles are before you, the resources you need, and what you need in terms of supports and the infamous "plan B".
So, when you have those moments of resistance or showing up becomes a challenge, you have the structure to come back to and start again.
